20 Funny jokes during this pandemic period 🤣August 18, 2020
Below are the 20 Funny jokes that can make you laugh….
Because laughter is a social mechanism, an audience may not feel as if they are in danger, and the laugh may not occur. Laughter can also be brought on by tickling.Although most people find it unpleasant, being tickled often causes heavy laughter, thought to be an (often uncontrollable) reflex of the body. 😂
1) Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.
2) A Doberman, a Golden Retriever and a cat died and met God. God said to them, “Tell me why I should let you into heaven.”
The Doberman said, “I’ll protect you with my life.”
God said, “You can sit at my right side.”
The Golden Retriever said, “I will fetch your slippers and anything else you ask me to.”
God said, “Then you can sit at my left side.”
Finally, God looked at the cat and said, “And what will you do?”
The cat said, “Excuse me. I think you’re sitting in my seat.”
3) Two guys stole a calendar. They got six months each. – Alex Del Bene
4) I loved the dress that I bought at a flea market. It fit perfectly, and the skirt was a swirl of intricate pleats. I wore it confidently to an evening party and glowed when a woman exclaimed, “Oh, how stunning!” Yes, I was grinning from ear to ear, until she added cheerfully, “Hang on to it, honey. Pleats will come back someday.” —Mary Lou Wickham
5) Father looks hard at a teenage son, “James, you’ve been adopted.” James jumps up, “Adopted! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!” Father laughs, “No no, James, we are your biological parents. But you need to get packing, your adoptive ones will be here in an hour.”
6) I tried having my mother’s phone disconnected, but the customer-service rep told me that since the account was in my dad’s name, he’d have to be the one to put in the request. The fact that he’d been dead for 40 years didn’t sway her. Then a solution hit me: “If I stop paying the bill, you can turn off the service, right?” “Well, yes,” she said reluctantly. “But that would ruin his credit.” —Jeannie Gibbs
7) I asked my 91-year-old father, “Dad, what were your good old days?” His thoughtful reply: “When I wasn’t good, and I wasn’t old.” —F. M., via rd.com
8) Teaching is not for sensitive souls. While reviewing future, past, and present tenses with my English class, I posed this question: “‘I am beautiful’ is what tense?” One student raised her hand. “Past tense.” Reema Rahat, in Reader’s Digest International Edition.
9) “Dad, I got my smarts from you, didn’t I?” – “That’s right my clever boy!” – “Yup, thought so, mom still has hers.”
10) Son comes in from outside, stops just behind the house door and yells, “Moooooooom!!!!” – His mother screams in frustration from the first floor, “I’ve had enough of this constant hollering. If you’ve got something to say, come and say it to me in person, don’t just yell like that!” – The boy obediently walks through the hall, up the stairs and into his mom’s room and says, “Look mom, I stepped in dog’s doo doo!”
11) Doctor: “I’ve found a great new drug that can help you with your sleeping problem.” Patient: “Great, how often do I have to take it?” Doctor: “Every two hours.”
12) “Q: What’s the difference between England and a tea bag?
A: The tea bag stays in the cup longer.”
13) A wife goes to consult a psychiatrist about her husband: “My husband is acting so weird. He drinks his morning coffee and then he goes and eats the mug! He only leaves the handle!” Psychiatrist: “Yes, that is weird. The handle is the best part”.
14) Don’t be sad when a bird craps on your head. Be happy that dogs can’t fly.
15) A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, “Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants.” The pirate says, “Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts.”
16) What did the green grape say to the purple grape? OMG!!!!!!! BREATHE!! BREATHEEEEE!!!!!
17) As my wife and I prepared for our garage sale, I came across a painting. Looking at the back, I discovered that I had written “To my beautiful wife on our fifth anniversary. I love you … Keith.” Feeling nostalgic about a gift I’d given her 25 years earlier, I showed it to her, thinking we should rehang the picture. After gazing at my message for a few seconds, she replied, “You know, I think a black marker would cover over all that so that we could sell it.” Keith Chambers
18) Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward….. That’s just how I roll…
19) A photon is going through airport security. The TSA agent asks if he has any luggage. The photon says, “No, I’m traveling light.”
20) Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because she was stuffed.
Funny jokes are something that someone tells and everyone else pretends to laugh at. Hope the above Funny Jokes made you laugh.🤣
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